


FNAF Crack OneShots

by Animelover660



Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: Crack, Cupcake - Freeform, Funny, Stupidity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-08-18 08:26:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8155615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Animelover660/pseuds/Animelover660
Summary: A bunch of funny oneshots about the amazing video game Five Nights at Freddy's! If you want to request what a chapter should be about and what characters it has just comment or message me! Also, I won't put any relationships in it yet. I'll do it as relationships are mentioned in chapters. It's teen and up because of swearing.





	1. Wanna Cupcake?

I check the camera's repeatedly, hoping the animatronics will show up. It's already 2:00 AM and I haven't seen them at all. Not even Foxy peaked his head out of Pirates Cove and it was starting to make me nervous. I turn my head to the door on the right when I start to hear soft breathing that wouldn't have been noticable if it weren't so eerily quiet. As I glance towards the window I see a bright yellow chicken staring through the glass at me. I quickly slam my hand on the bright red button and the door shuts. She just stands there and stares at me. After 10 minutes I look at the power and see it's gone down quite a bit and I still have 4 hours to go. This bird is going to be the death of me.

"Hey! Go away!" I tell her through the large, metal door as she just continues staring. She hasn't moved since I saw her at the window and I start to think something malfunctioned inside her when she narrows her eyes and straightens out her bib that says _'Let's Eat'_ on it. She suddenly looks down and starts moving around slightly. I just raise an eyebrow at her before she looks back up at me and stops moving again. From the corner of the window I see something coming into view. I sigh as she holds a sign up to the window afterwards. The item she held up was her cupcake and the sign read: _'Wanna cupcake?'_ I shook my head no and glared at her.

"No, I don't want a damn cupcake! Go away creepy! Stop staring, it's weird!"

She just put the sign and cupcake out of my view and started moving again. She placed a new sign back up to the window and continued staring at me.

_'Wanna play? You can eat the cupcake while we play,'_ it said.

I frowned and shook my head no. I started thinking of ways I could get her to leave the door when an idea popped into my head.

"Alright, I'll play," I told her, "but, in order for me to play I'll have to eat one of my favorite foods. Could you make it for me?"

She nodded her head enthusiastically and put her sign down. She patiently waited for me to continue as I quickly checked over the camera's once more to make sure no other animatromic was coming.

"Well," I said, "I want to eat some chicken."

She stood at the window in shock and furiously shook her head no as I opened the door and peaked my head out.

"I said I'd play as long as you made me some chicken. What's wrong?" I asked innocently. As soon as the word chicken came out of my mouth a second time she turned and started sprinting down the hallway. I sat back down in my seat and grabbed the tablet to scroll through and check on the animatronics again. The only animatronic I saw was Chica who was sitting underneath one of the tables shaking like a leaf.

"Hmm, I guess she didn't wanna play," I said while smiling to myself.


	2. Ballora Gallery Scares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who knew Ballora got scared so easily?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was requested by bri the tv head who commented on chapter 1
> 
> I hope you like it bri the tv head because I wasn't sure exactly what you wanted, but this turned out a bit mushy and not that funny (it kind of wrote itself). I did half of this last night and the rest today, so I hoped it doesn't seem rushed, but I got unsperation and wanted to get it finished for you ^^

**Third Person POV**

"I can hear you creeping through my room," Ballora spoke. The man visibly shook and continued listening for her voice. When he heard nothing he moved forward slowly, hoping she wouldn't hear his movement.

After what felt like an eternity he made it to the other side and sighed quietly, turning the knob. He frowned when he kept twisting it and it wouldn't open. It was dead silent in the room, not even Ballora's music played as he stood still and listened for something. Anything. When nothing happened he got back on his knees and decided he'd make his way back to his office. As he moved through the room he looked around, but couldn't see anything in the darkness. He'd been moving for quite a while and started wondering to himself.

_'Am I even going the right way? I don't think it took this long to get to the room. Why is it taking so much longer to get back?'_

Just as that thought went through his head his forehead bumped into a hard surface and he gasped quietly. He began to gently rub the sore spot on his head and stood up, running the opposite hand across the wall he had headbutted. His calloused hand made contact with something that felt like a light switch, so he flicked it and squinted his eyes as a bright light flooded Ballora Gallery. When his eyes adjusted he scanned the room and furrowed his brows in confusion. The room was empty.

"What!? Where did she go? Not that I'm complaining..."

_Creeeeeak..._

He froze in his spot, tensing his muscles and listening carefully. The only sounds were his heavy breathing and the thumping of his heart that was about to burst from his chest. He quickly made his way to the vent and was about to climb through until he heard something behind him. He turned and gazed up at Ballora, her normally closed eyes wide open to show the glowing red color. He gasped crawled backwards until his back hit the wall beside of the vent. She reached towards him when the lights flickered and went off, submerging them in darkness again. A scream resounded throughout the room as the night guard stared back at the glowing red eyes of Ballora who seemed to be in distress over something.

"No," she wimpered. "Please, turn the lights back on. Being in the dark is so much more terrifying when my eyes are open..."

He debated with himself for a moment. She was just going to kill him, but she wanted his help. The lights must have blew a fuse or something because they shut off by themself, so he'd have to use his flashlight. He sighed and made his decision. Standing up, he grabbed his flashlight from the floor beside of him and flicked the switch to turn it on. Ballora looked at him with oil in her eyes that substituted for tears since she couldn't produce real ones and took a shaky breath. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before putting the flashlight in her hand and wrapping his arms around her cold, metal body. She stood still for a moment before relaxing and putting her head on top of his.

"You don't have to be afraid anymore. Take my flashlight and if you're ever scared you can come to me and I'll protect you. I promise."

She smiled down at him and hugged him tighter, making sure she wasn't hurting him. With a sniffle and a small giggle she pressed her face into his hair and spoke.

"Thank you."


End file.
